


Our Star, in the Midst of Darkness

by ancientcitylullaby



Category: Macbeth - Shakespeare, SHAKESPEARE William - Works
Genre: Child Abuse, Childhood Sweethearts, First Kiss, First Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Love, M/M, Recovery, Romance, basically Banquo from Macbeth fell in love with a castle servant when he was little, sorry this gets a bit heavy read at ur own risk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21622759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ancientcitylullaby/pseuds/ancientcitylullaby
Summary: His name was Banquo Mac Kenneth, he told me. “And I am Euan.” I said. “Euan Mac…” well, I actually didn’t know my father’s name.He smiled. “I like you.” He said, and clasped my hands in his. His hair was soft, light brown and fell just past his ears. I liked to mess with it sometimes, and he just laughed, and would chase me around to get back at me.
Relationships: Banquo (Macbeth)/Macbeth (mentioned), Banquo (Macbeth)/Original Male Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Our Star, in the Midst of Darkness

I was of humble birth. My mother worked as a cook in the household of the Thane of Lochaber, old Kenneth MacFerguard. I quite enjoyed living in the castle, even though I had to work once I was old enough. I enjoyed baking the bread and making the soup, I didn’t even mind the cleaning, as we would often sing as we did so. When I was not hard at work I had time to play with the other children; the blacksmith’s son and the stable boy and such, and some of the girls too. 

And then there was the son of the Thane himself. About my age, he crept up one day when I was scarcely ten years old. We were unsure at first, his father could be strict, but he soon began playing with us as if it was nothing at all. We were learning swordsmanship at the time, and his father wanted him to learn too. We would often practice together, and soon, he had become quite skilled. 

His name was Banquo Mac Kenneth, he told me. “And I am Euan.” I said. “Euan Mac…” well, I actually didn’t know my father’s name.

He smiled. “I like you.” He said, and clasped my hands in his. His hair was soft, light brown and fell just past his ears. I liked to mess with it sometimes, and he just laughed, and would chase me around to get back at me.

Day by day our bond grew stronger. He would sneak into the kitchen and leave gifts for me, letters and trinkets and things he must have received from his parents. Sometimes he would draw me pictures… he was quite a talented artist. On some occasions I would bake him a small cake and leave it in his room, with a note, but he always knew it was me. 

I saw him almost every day, and we would often get into mischief. Once we snuck out of the castle and into the forest.

“Euan,” He said to me. “My mother tells me stories sometimes. About true love.” We we’re sitting on a fallen log, having grown tired of running around like wild-men. 

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes?” I asked.

“It’s a strange thing to me. To think of… love.” He said. “Euan, have you ever been in love?” 

I thought for a moment. “I’m not sure.” I said. “I wouldn’t know what it’s supposed to feel like.” 

He laughed. I always loved it when I got him to laugh, even though this time it was only because I was confused. “It’s when you feel special about another person. When you get butterflies in your stomach when you’re around them. When you think they’re really pretty… and maybe you want to hold hands with them… or kiss them…” he trailed off, looking embarrassed.

“Banquo, are YOU in love with someone?” I asked. He turned bright red.

“N-No..!” He said quickly.

“Come on, who is it? Edina? Blair, Moira?” I began listing off names of the girls living in our castle. Each time, he shook his head, stubbornly. I was beginning to get impatient. “Who is it then?” I asked. 

He placed a finger to my lips. “Shh.” He said. “I can never tell.”

“Banquo,” I whined. “I’m your best friend, you have to tell me.” 

He sighed. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Father wants me to marry a woman of noble birth. Someone I’ve probably never met before. You… you could marry anyone you want.” He had this forlorn look in his eyes. Growing up, I had always wondered what it would like to be in his position, to be the son of a nobleman and destined for greatness from birth, but you lose a lot of freedom in gaining such power. I saw him, many times I think he wished such high expectations did not hang on him. And I did feel sorry for him, for that.

“I can’t marry anyone I want.” I said. “I’m the son of a cook, I couldn’t marry a princess, or the daughter of a lord.” I said. I saw something stir in him.

“Would you want to..?” He asked me. 

I shrugged. “If I fell in love with someone, I would want to marry them despite anything else, I think. If they wanted to be with me.”

“So we’re in the same place.” He said sadly. 

I nodded. 

Little did I know of my own feelings. He was quiet walking home. When we reached the gates of the castle, he hugged me, and it caught me completely off guard, but I didn’t mind it. It felt nice. We went back inside, I to my mother and him to his parents, the lord and lady of the household. I watched him go. Running up the stairs, so light on his feet, the little gray cloak he wore flying behind him. I sighed. 

——————-

I am the son of the Thane of Lochaber. I came home from playing in the forest with my best friend, and my father immediately scolded me for tracking mud inside. “You’ll clean that up.” He said sternly, so I hurried to get some rags to wipe up the mess. 

One lecture on proper manners later and it was time for the evening meal. My parents bid me wash my hands now that I’d soiled them with mud, so I hurried to clean myself up before we ate. I hoped I wouldn’t miss seeing Euan. 

I came downstairs and it was “why are you so late?” I apologized and sat down. Euan peeked out from the kitchen, and I waved. My father frowned. 

Euan was gesturing me to peek beneath my plate. I did, and found a small slip of paper. Careful to not let my father see, I pocketed it, to read it later. When I looked up, Euan was gone.

That night, in my bedroom, I unfolded the paper. “Meet me on the balcony.” It said. Signed, “Euan.”

The balcony? I didn’t understand… I looked over to the balcony, where I saw a shadow of a boy standing, watching me. I panicked, I had been getting changed before I remembered the note! Had he been looking??

I pushed aside the curtain, and was greeted by his grinning face. “You made it.” He said. 

“How did you get up here?” I exclaimed. 

“Sturdy vines up the side of the castle. I’d watch out if I were you. Someone like me could sneak into your room at night.”

“Like you already did?” 

“You’re lucky it was only me.” 

“Euan, what are you doing?” I laughed, trying to keep quiet as my parents were just down the hall. 

“I came to apologize for earlier.” He said.

“Apologize? What for?” 

“For prying.” He said. “I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you into telling me who you like. If you don’t want to tell, that’s your business.”

That was what he came all this way for? My god, what a sweetheart. I patted him on the shoulder. 

“It’s fine, Euan, I wasn’t upset with you.” I said. 

“Oh, really? Good. I was worried. You know, I like you a lot, I don’t want to upset you.” He said. My chest felt tight.

“I like you a lot too.” I said.

“Aww…” He said. We sat in silence for a little bit. I should’ve brought him out here more often. It was beautiful, out in the night air. I wanted to hold his hand, but I was afraid to. Wanted to lean my head on his shoulder, but I was afraid to. I wanted to tell him I liked him, but I couldn’t. 

“You can see so many stars from up here.” He said. I looked up, and he was right. Sometimes I never noticed, I spent so much time out here avoiding my father when he was upset. 

We sat talking for a while. We did not know the names of the stars, so we made up our own. The one standing off by itself, surrounded by blackness, with no other stars nearby, that was our star, we said. We sat and watched it a while, twinkling like that. It felt peaceful. 

“I don’t trust fate, and I don’t trust stars.” I said suddenly.  
“My father says I’m fated to rise to greatness, beyond even being Thane. I think he wants me to be King. But I’m not sure I want that. I’d be leaving too much behind.”

“Who says that’s your fate?” Euan replied. “Really, I think that’s just what your father wants for you. Plus, I never did believe in fate. It’s my own opinion that you’ll carve out your own destiny, Banquo, as we all will.”

I thought some on this. Maybe he was right. 

“What are you afraid of leaving behind?” He asked me. 

“Freedom, what little freedom I have at least. Innocence, childhood.” I paused. “You.” 

“I’m touched.” He said. 

“I’d miss you, if I became king, would you come with me to whatever castle I’d have to live in? Maybe I could elevate your family’s rank, maybe you wouldn’t have to work anymore… I could do anything being the king, right?” I was rambling on.

Euan just laughed. “Banquo, I’m happy with my lot in life, there’s no need. But of course I’d come with you, if you’d wish that of me.”

“I don’t want you to ever leave.” I said, tears in my eyes. He took his thumb and wiped them away. 

His hand lingered on my cheek, and I instinctively placed my hand over his own. 

“Our star is not forcing you toward any sort of fate. It’s only there to watch over you in all that you do. Trust me, Banquo. You’re gonna be happy someday.”

“I’m happy now, when I’m with you.” I told him. He smiled. 

“Do you want to come inside? It’s awfully late…” I said. 

“I should get home to my mother.” He said reluctantly. 

“Are you really going to try and climb down that vine? What if you fall?”

“I’ll be fine!” He said grinning. “We’ll get in trouble if I stay.”

He was right, but I wanted him to stay with me. To wrap my arms around him and fall asleep. I watched him every step of the way climbing down, and he almost slipped a few times, causing me to hold my breath. He made it though, and signaled to me that he was okay. I waved, and then he ran off. 

I dreamt sweet dreams that night, of a boy with stars in his eyes. 

——————-

I turned fourteen today. Banquo was thirteen. My mother and a few of her friends threw me a party that night, when the day’s work had been done. Banquo showed up for the party, terribly excited for the festivities, and possibly also to get a taste of my mother’s cake. He ran up to me and hugged me as soon as he saw me, and eagerly handed me his gift. I opened it first, and was stunned.

“A map of the stars.” He said. “My father took me into town to buy it. I even found our star, right here.” He exclaimed, and pointed to a small dot on the map. The map was covered in paintings of the constellations, of great bears and scorpions and serpents and all manner of things. And there was our star. How has he even found it? Maybe it was all symbolic. Still, I felt tears in my eyes, and I hugged him again. 

“I love it.” I whispered. “Thank you.” 

I heard some of the women gushing amongst themselves, and I pulled away from him. I did not get many gifts, as we were not wealthy, but that didn’t matter much to me. What I did receive I cherished dearly. 

My mother’s cake was delicious as usual. Banquo and I would have immediately gone for seconds and thirds, but we restrained ourselves until everyone had gotten a piece. We stayed up later than we should have, listening to the adults tell stories and jokes around the fire, until my mother shoo’d me off to bed and Banquo back to his parents. I thanked him again for my present, and then we smiled, because we had a plan to get past both his parents and my mother. 

He snuck out using the vine growing by his balcony, and I out my bedroom window. We met in the courtyard, a shady place where no one would see us. The guards at the gate were far away, and our parents fast asleep. 

“So what is it you wanted to tell me?” I asked excitedly. He shifted a little. 

“Um… um um… I… uh…” he stumbled over his words.

“Banquo…”

“I’m ready to tell you who I like now!” He blurted out. 

“Wh-what? Oh, okay… shoot.”

“N-no… it’s hard.”

“It’s okay. Whatever you say, your secret’s safe with me.”

“Okay um… okay.” He was tugging at his nightshirt. “It’s…. um.”  
“It’s you.” 

I felt my heart jump in my chest. He looked away from me. I couldn’t help what I did next, as I pressed my lips to his, my heart pounding.

“Euan?” He said, with a gasp.

“Yes?” I replied, awestruck. 

“I don’t know what love is. But I think this is it.” His eyes were shining in the starlight.

“I… I think so too.” 

I was laughing. Never before had I felt so right. I ran my fingers through his long hair. Surely our star must have been watching over us in that moment. To hell with fate. Anyone who spoke of fate would never have seen us together. And yet here we were, under our own cover of stars.

——————-

The next few months were heaven while they lasted. We kept up our old games, me and Euan. I warned him to quit leaving sweets in my room because sooner or later I would get fat. But he always left notes for me that made my heart sing. 

I spent all the time I could with him, and he taught me how to bake bread one day, how to mix the dough and knead it and twist it into shapes. The bread I made was not half bad, though a tad lopsided.

I practiced with him in the yard sometimes, and I told him to never go easy on me. Still, once he whacked me upside the head and I went down, and he was horrified. I turned out to be fine, but we took a break for a while. Another time, I knocked the wind right out of him, and tried not to panic as he caught his breath. I said he’d make a fine soldier one day, but I followed it up wishing that he’d never see war. My father lost an eye that way, and far more friends than he could count. I didn’t want him to die.

“When you are Thane, I’d be honored to fight by your side.” He said. “If you’re going to risk your life in battle, you think I won’t follow you?”

I knew he wasn’t training for nothing. But I I had a fear in the back of my mind that I would lose him someday. I couldn’t handle that. 

Youth was deserting me faster than I’d like. I knew my father planned to marry me off soon. There is a girl, somewhere in the region called Atholl, the younger sister of the future king. Her name is Muldivana. I knew my father’s plans involved a union between me and her. But I didn’t want that. I wanted Euan. I wanted to stay with him forever; I didn’t even know this girl. What if she was mean? What if she didn’t like dreaming or running through the forest and getting dirty or drawing pictures or looking at the stars or breaking rules, what if she was everything my father wanted me to be?

Many times I thought of running away. Take Euan and venture from town to town until we were far away from this old castle. We’d start a business baking bread or some other such occupation, he could teach me. I could steal jewels from my mother to start us on our way. 

But there was a part of me, the part of me that was my father’s son, who knew he couldn’t desert Lochaber like that. Father had taken me from town to town, and I knew these places would suffer if I left them to the wolves, overtaken by invasions and violence. Over the years I learned running away just wasn’t an option. 

Still, I didn’t want to marry Muldivana.

Maybe, I thought, maybe I could reason with my parents. Not my father, I was terrified of what he might do, but maybe if I told my mother, I could get her to help me figure something out. Something that would let me and Euan stay together.

Father was a stern man. Mother could be softer about some things, when he wasn’t around. One night when I was able to catch her alone, I snuck into her room.

“Banquo?” She asked me. I gulped, shutting the door behind me.

“Mam...” I began. 

“What is it my child?” She asked. 

“I have to tell you a secret, okay? Don’t tell dad.”

“Go on… come sit with me.” She said, patting the bed beside her. She had been sitting, working at some embroidery. 

“I think I’ve fallen in love.” I said. She looked up. 

To my relief, she smiled. “Ah, it’s a normal thing at your age. Tell me, who is she?”

I frowned. ‘She.’

“Well, it’s actually a ‘he’. It’s Euan.” I said. 

I watched her lips grow tight. 

“Euan? The kitchen boy?” She asked.

“Is that bad?” My heart was racing. “She said it was okay if I fell in love with someone… I wracked my brain for reasons she wouldn’t be okay now. 

“What’s wrong, mam?” I asked her, innocent as a child, for truly that’s still what I was. I might have talked of running away and starting my own life but I was still a little boy, and I was about to learn that the hard way. 

She shook her head over and over again. “What have you done with that boy?” She asked. “Did he kiss you?” 

“Yes..? Mam!” I shouted, as she grabbed me roughly by the arm and I knew we were hurrying to find my father. 

“No! Please, don’t take me to him! Don’t tell dad please!” I struggled, but she was stronger than me. She only squeezed tighter around my arm. 

“We need to speak with your father about this. There is something seriously wrong with you if you think you can—“ 

“Mam, I’m sorry!” Tears streamed down my face. “What did I do?”

Below, in the kitchen, I heard footsteps running. “Banquo!” I heard a familiar voice cry. 

“Euan!” I screamed, fighting to get to the stairs. My mother pulled me back. Please, let him take me away, I wanted to go with him and for him to protect me… I didn’t want to find out what my father was going to do. 

She roughly shoved me into the room in which my father sat, I tried to bolt out of the room, but she blocked the entrance. “NO!” I shouted. 

“Mamaidh, please…” I begged. She closed the door behind her. 

My mother locked the door. She ran to my father, crying.

I stood there, watching them, whispering. Then he looked up at me, disgusted.

“What did you do?” He demanded. 

“I don’t know, please… dad.!”

“I thought I’d raised you better than this.” He said coldly. As he spoke, I watched him reaching for the belt hanging in the wardrobe. 

My mother was still sobbing, not looking up at him. I was shaking so bad.

“You are going to learn one way or another what is acceptable for a young man.” He said. 

“Dad, please I won’t do it again!” I screamed, tears in my eyes. 

H-he wasn’t going to do this, was he? He had threatened me before with the belt but he had never used it, maybe a slap across the face but he would never—

I tried to run for the door, fumbling for the lock before he grabbed me roughly by the shoulder. 

“NO! Mamaidh!” I cried, and he swung the belt down on my back. It hurt. He pushed me down and kept whipping me, my mother sobbing in the background. 

It seemed like forever before he stopped, I had soaked the rug with tears. He kicked me in the side, a signal to get up, and I did so with shaky hands. I couldn’t see out of one eye, I think it was swollen. I couldn’t look up at him, and he wouldn’t look at me. I ran for my bedroom and slammed the door shut, buried my face in a pillow and started crying again.

I didn’t want anyone to look at me then. I was so ashamed. I didn’t know anything I had done was wrong, I wanted to forget it ever happened, I wanted to forget I’d ever met Euan, but at the same time I wanted him to come find me. Nobody came to comfort me. 

Could I run away? What if he found me… what was he going to do now? How could I live in a house with him knowing what he knew. I wasn’t sure if he’d ever see me the same way.

A while later I heard my door creak open, softly. Instantly I was at alert, scrambling behind my bed. 

It was my father. I hid behind the bed, but he stood in the doorway. 

“You aren’t to speak to that boy again.” He said, no compassion in his tone. “We’re sending him and his mother away.” 

“N-no… no… please, this isn’t their fault… don’t make him leave… I won’t do anything anymore, just please don’t make him go—“

“Shut up won’t you? My decision is final. Now clean yourself up.”  
With that he slammed the door behind him. 

———————

When I heard him screaming from upstairs I knew something horrible had happened. My mother and the others heard it too. They chattered uneasily amongst themselves. 

He was in trouble! I had to go find him! I tried to run to him, But my mother dragged me back by my collar. “Euan. Don’t.” She said sternly. I was crying so hard, I couldn’t finish cleaning up; I couldn’t see the pots and pans through my tears. The other women eventually took pity on me and sent me to bed. 

Once in my room, I didn’t waste a second. I leapt over the windowsill and hurried toward his balcony. Quickly, I scrambled up that precarious but thick green vine. I had gotten good at climbing it by now, though I feared soon it would break. 

I was quiet once I reached the top, careful not to cast a shadow on the curtains. I heard his father’s voice, clearly angry, and I heard him crying.

No… no… I heard that brute of a man slam the door and when I knew he was gone, I rushed inside. He spun around to see me, and oh… god…

“Euan, you can’t be here..” he said, hushed, terrified. “Go away before he finds you!”

“I’m not going anywhere, what did he do to you? Take off your shirt.”

“NO!”

“Banquo!”

His left eye was swollen, and when he undid his shirt, I saw angry reddening welts criss-crossing his back. 

“Banquo…”

I tried to hold him, but he backed away. “No, don’t do that, dad says it’s wrong to…”

“Banquo, it’s only me… I won’t hurt you.”

“He’ll be upset with me…” he sobbed. 

Please, god no…

“He’s not here. He won’t do anything. If he does I’ll protect you.” I was only a child of fourteen, and his father had fought in many wars, but I refused to let him near Banquo.

“He’ll hit you too.” He cried. 

“He doesn’t scare me.” I said, sounding way more confident than I was.

He had pulled his shirt back around his shoulders, embarrassed. 

“Will you let me hold you?” I asked, tentatively. He nodded, burying his face into my shoulder, and I felt his light brown curls against my face. I kissed him again and again and again, as if it would undo all that had been done to him.

“It’s okay.” I said. “I love you.” He cried harder when I said that.

“You can’t love me, Euan, please say anything but that.”

“But I do. Don’t you love me too?”

“I would, but I can’t, Euan…”

“What?”

“I’m not allowed to see you anymore.” He told me.

“What?!” 

“After father found out about us. He’s sending you and your mother away. I’m sorry, it’s my fault…”

“What?” I wracked my brain for answers, and looked back into his tear-filled eyes. “So run away with me.” I pleaded. “Just like we planned. You’ll never have to see your father again.”

“No… He’s never been this angry before, if he finds us, he might kill you. I can’t let him do that!”

“I can’t leave you here!”

“Euan please…”

“Banquo!” 

I was crying now. I didn’t care if Kenneth would want me dead, like hell I was letting this happen to the boy I loved, without doing everything in my power to stop it. 

“Euan, come outside.” He said. He led me outside to the balcony. 

The same place we had met so many times before. The stone bench, the view of stars, the trees on the earth below. Even the now crumbling vine I would have to use to return home after tonight.

“Do you see it?” He asked. Looking up, it took me a while, but I found it, our star, twinkling ever so brightly in the sky. The darkness that always surrounded it seemed ever darker, aching even more to swallow that tiny pinprick of light on which we rested our hopes. 

“When you go.” He said. “Every night, I hope you look to our star, and know I’m looking up at the same star. As long as it shines, I’ll be thinking of you.”

“I don't want to go.” I sobbed. I didn’t want stars, I wanted him. I wished he would go with me. I wished he had a better father, I wished I were stronger.

“My father won’t let you stay. You have to go.”

“I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.” I said.  
I didn’t want to descend from that balcony and know I’d never see his face again. I hated the idea of forever. Every morning before now I would wake knowing he would be there. What would I do from now on?

“It won’t be.” He said. “When my father is gone and I’m Thane of Lochaber, come back to me. If you haven’t found someone else by then…” he trailed off.

“I don’t think I could ever love anyone besides you.” I admitted.

“You may have a while to wait.” 

I knew he was trying hard to be brave. I wanted to save him, but it seemed he had his mind made up. Of what little I knew of the affairs of nobles, I knew this land depended on him, and he knew that almost from birth. Was it selfish for me to want him to run away? Perhaps, but my stomach churned at the idea of leaving him with Kenneth.

“H-hey.” He said. “Kiss me one last time before you go.” He wiped his eyes again. 

I kissed him like I never had before, relishing every moment, but his lips tasted salty with tears. 

One last shared gaze, one last touch of my hand on his cheek, one last look of concern at the growing bruise around his eye, and those last words. “I love you, Banquo.” 

I grabbed onto that vine, climbing down, feeling it pulling away from the castle wall. It had been spent. I scrambled down faster, fearing it would give way with me still clinging on for dear life, hearing it tearing as I climbed, but I made it to the ground, just as the vine came falling away from the wall. 

I would no longer be able to climb to the balcony, but it seemed I would never need to do so again. If I ever entered that room again, maybe it would be through the front door this time.

——————-

It was the hardest thing I had done in my life, letting him go. I knew it was final when I watched that vine pulled away from the wall. I watched him reach the ground to make sure he was safe. 

He would go home to his mother, and tomorrow she would learn that they would have to leave this castle. I hoped she wouldn’t blame him.

He told me he loved me. Had I even said the same back? I was afraid to say it, but now I wanted him to know. Had I ever actually told him that I loved him?

There was no way to send letters; I had no idea where he was going. I really didn’t want him to go, had I done the right thing?

The lashes on my back hurt like crazy… and I was worn out from crying. I didn’t want to face my parents tomorrow. I wasn’t sure how I would get my father to look at me again. I was angry with my mother for breaking my trust and telling my father about Euan. Maybe if she hadn’t done that, none of this would have happened. 

I climbed into bed, and tried to fall asleep, though it was hard because I couldn’t lay on my back. In my dreams I imagined that we were somewhere else, that my father wasn’t here. I was with Euan by the seashore, laughing in the sunlight. But I kept finding myself further out in the ocean, seemingly every time I blinked, until I was swept away forever. 

Under the depths I was terrified, but there was someone there. A boy, a bit older than me or Euan, holding his breath. Dark brown hair flowing like seaweed. Green eyes like emeralds. His clothes were blue with three white stars sewn into them. He took hold of me, and began pulling me to the surface, and I clung to him for dear life. 

————-

“We’re going to be staying with my cousin, Finella.” Said my mother, suddenly. “Until we can find a place of our own.” 

“Oh? Okay.” I had fallen asleep beside her. Behind us was a wagon with everything we had ever owned, more or less. Which wasn’t much, all in all. I had kept all the things Banquo gave me safely packed in a chest. I wanted to remember him. I was dejected, and my mother knew it, and she was trying her best to stay positive, but give me my space.

Night had already fallen. Fortunately I saw the twinkling lights of the town fast approaching, where my aunt Finella supposedly lived. I hoped she was nice. 

My aunt was a sweet lady. She was an innkeeper, and so my mother had offered for us to help out in the kitchen while we stayed with her.

But tonight, we went to bed after some quick greetings. That night I ran to my new window, to look up at the sky. It was different in town, with other buildings around, but soon I found it.

I thought of him, high in that castle, looking up at that same star. I hoped he was safe. I hoped he knew I was okay. 

———————

I am twenty two years old. The news has swept the town today. Lochaber has a new Thane. 

He came into town with several other men, riding on that horse we had raised as children. When she was born, he named her Adamina, and his father said she could be his. I recognized her from the white spot on her forehead. 

It was eight years ago that I left him. And he always said he would return. But I…

I clasped the hand of my beloved, standing beside me. Colban, with raven black hair, and a full beard to match. I had never succeeded in growing mine out so far, and some people thought I was his son, which made us laugh hysterically once we got away from them. 

“The new thane is quite handsome.” I heard Colban say, and I shoved him playfully. But he was. Colban was a tad dense and I don’t think he had put it together that I used to know the thane as a boy. Sometimes I wondered if Colban truly understood much except cutting down trees. 

I looked up at Banquo. He caught my eye, and I wondered if he would come over here.

When he saw me and Colban, he smiled. “Euan.” He said, cordially. 

“He knows you? You didn’t tell me that!” Colban exclaimed. I was speechless.

“Euan and I are… old friends, yes?” Banquo said, a knowing look at me. Dismounted from his horse, he was taller than me now, and had grown into a fine looking man. 

“It’s good to see you.” I said. He hugged me then, and it was nothing more than a token of friendship. I think he knew what was between me and Colban. I wondered if he had found someone too. 

“Banquo,” I said, “this is Colban, my boyfriend.” Colban’s grip on my hand tightened. 

“Euan why are you telling him about—“ he began.

“Relax. It’s okay with him.” I said. 

Banquo’s eyes seemed to light up. “Euan, that’s wonderful! Congratulations to both of you! If there’s anything you ever need, either of you, or your families, please don’t hesitate to send for me.” It seemed he was doing a lot better with his father gone. 

“Please, come inside.” I said. Our home was not much, but I knew my old friend never minded such things.

“How are you doing, Banquo?” I asked. 

“Better than ever.” He said. There was that look in his eyes, that told me it really was going better than ever.

I pointed it out. “You’re blushing.” I remarked. He just laughed, and reached into his bag, pulling out a small portrait of a man, with brown hair and green eyes.

“Moray.” He said. “Macbeth Mac Findlay.”

“Ah, so you’ve finally found yourself another nobleman.” I said, teasingly.

“I suppose so. And you’ve found yourself a man as well. I’m happy for you, my friend.” 

“As am I for you.”

“Remember, anything you need.” He assured me. We stepped back outside.

“Thank you, my lord.” 

“Psh… Euan, don’t call me that. It’s so formal.”

“Alright. Thank you, my friend.” 

He smiled, and climbed atop his horse. Another wave, and he was headed off. The last time we met, I had tearfully kissed him goodbye. Now, I watched him go, now Thane of Lochaber, our lives diverging in separate paths. He had a lover, and I had mine. But he did promise to meet me again, and he had kept his promise. 

I stepped back inside, happy with the life I had for myself. “Colban darling,” I said. “Supper’s almost ready.”

———————

The year is 1057. Since he became thane, Banquo had done far better than his father ever had in helping this town and others, and protecting Lochaber from invasion. He was beloved by most all of us.

So when I stepped outside, to see everyone dressed in black, and half the shops closed up, I had a sinking feeling. Surely there was no mournful holiday that I had forgotten about, right? 

Colban stepped out behind me. “What’s gotten into everyone…” he began, looking concerned. 

An old woman, one of my late aunt’s friends passed me by just then. “The Thane of Lochaber is dead.” She said.

Suddenly I felt like I couldn’t stand. 

Colban caught me, mercifully, and hurried me back into our house. I awoke with cool cloths on my forehead, my husband (well, husband in almost every sense of the word) kneeling worriedly at my side. 

“He’s dead…” I said. “What happened to him?” 

“I don’t think you want to know. Please, love, just rest.” Colban protested, trying to prevent me from sitting up too fast.

“Colban! Do you know what happened to him?” I shouted, and it seemed to frighten him. I immediately felt sorry. Despite his strong outward appearance, he never raised his voice at anyone in anger, and he didn’t like when I did. “I’m sorry, but please, I need to know. What happened to him?”

Colban sighed. “They found him in a ditch. twenty gashes on his head. His throat was cut.  
I’m sorry, Euan.”

I couldn’t stop crying.


End file.
